WASHINGTON, D.C. - 13-year-old Morgan Pozgar, of Claysburg, Pennsylvania, who took the text crown earlier this week in the LG National Text Messaging Championship in New York, is now in custody of the Office of Homeland Security after she sent a text message to President Bush’s personal cell phone last night which read, “XLNT. C U L8R. MOS.”
White House intelligence officers immediately intercepted the call, explaining that even the president’s phone is not immune to government eavesdropping, and attempted decipher the message. A team of leading U.S. cryptographers -- some of whom have decoded Egyptian Hieroglyphics -- were brought in within the hour to try to solve the mysterious message.
“We will be working round the clock to figure out the meaning of this enigmatic word puzzle, but I’ll be damned, we’re pretty stumped. We’ve never seen anything like it. We are hoping that it turns out to be nothing, but we can’t take any chances. Our national security is at stake,” said one cryptanalyst.
Pozgar's parents have maintained her innocence, claiming the text message was sent in error, after she mistakenly typed in the District of Columbia’s 202 area code instead of 412, and that the intended recipient was another teenage girl from Southwestern Pennsylvania, whom she befriended at the competition. According to Pozgar, she was confirming a planned sleepover this weekend at the girl’s Ben Avon home.
Pozgar, who is said to be comfortable and well-fed in an undisclosed location, is reportedly suffering from severe cell phone withdrawal and guards say she has been begging them to allow her “just a few hits” on the keyboard. Pozgar had previously boasted of sending about 8,000 text messages per month to friends and relatives.
“These echo boomers. They can’t go ten minutes without some kind of fancy techno-gadget,” said internationally renowned sociologist Margaret Snead. “What are they going to do when the whole system goes 'kaboom!'? That’s what's got my granny pants in a bunch. We are going to have our work cut out for us, I have no doubt about that."
According to the latest Internet reports, the terror alert level still remains at "YLO."