BOSTON - Details are being to emerge concerning the escape of Ted Williams' head from Cranial Pops, Inc, the cryogenic storage facility where Williams' frozen head was being maintained. Williams' head conspired with other heads at the facility to construct an elaborate escape tunnel. When the tunnel was discovered, Williams' head was able to take advantage of the confusion, somehow avoid detection by the guard towers, and cut through the barbed wire surrounding the facility. Dr. Manfred Freeze, president of Cranial-Pops, speculated that Williams' head used wire cutters it had concealed under its Red Sox hat. Williams' head then made it safely to a wooded area just outside the compound where a waiting accomplice helped the head escape.

"We had been hoping to attract hall of fame heads from both the American and National leagues," said Dr. Freeze. "We had just enlarged the storage area in case Barry Bonds' head became available. And now this happens . . . . We're just sick about it."