WASHINGTON -- High ranking officials at the Justice Department have reported that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales appears to be unable to recall any details of his disastrous appearance before a senate committee just two weeks ago. When Senator John McCain asked Gonzales, "Were you trying to appear stupid or what?" the attorney general replied, "I'm afraid I can't recall." Angry Justice Department staff asked Gonzales, "Do you realize you disgraced the entire department?" His reply: "I'm afraid I can't recall the details." Asked by Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Alabama), "Tell me Alberto, just how f*****g stupid are you?" Gonzales stated, "I have searched my memory and I can not recall just how f*****g stupid I am."

Justice Department staffers reported that Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina) shook Gonzales by the shoulders and screamed, "Can you remember anything about your pitiful, embarrassing, unbelievably transparent performance? Anything at all???!!!" After reflecting for a moment Gonzales replied, "I have no recollection of the hearings, but I do recall that the President told me I did a heck of a job."