Commanding officers of the Los Angeles Police Department are "very upset" that Judge Michael Sauer ordered Paris Hilton back to jail last Friday after giving her only two days to test out their new "inmate bling" ankle bracelet."We were desperately looking for someone to model this new design for us, and Paris just seemed like a natural," said LAPD Commander Rick Goodwell. "It came down to her and a drug trafficker named Ernesto, so we took a poll: most of the guys in the [police] department felt it looked better on Paris's ankle than Ernesto's," Goodwell explained. "Note I said 'most of the guys.'"
Goodwell pointed out that despite being "flashy and damn sexy," the jewel-encrusted bracelet nevertheless is "a sophisticated, tamper -proof GPS tracking device" that allowed police to keep tabs on the recalcitrant heiress with 100% accuracy. "We take this very seriously," he said. "But unfortunately, because of Judge Sauer," Goodwell explained, "Ernesto now has a very fine piece of jewelry."
