MOSCOW - Alexander Solzhenitsyn, legendary Soviet dissident and Nobel Prize winning author, wed Aunt Penny, legendary spokesperson for a popular Pittsburgh automobile dealership, in the Cathedral of the Czars yesterday. It is the second marriage for both. Mr. Solzhenitsyn’s marriage to his first wife, Miss Vicki, ended when the couple divorced in 1975. Aunt Penny’s first husband, notorious bank robber John Dillinger, was killed by Federal agents outside of the Biograph Theater in Chicago in 1934.
Solzhenitsyn, known for his gruff demeanor with reporters, was effusive when addressing the media on the Cathedral steps following the ceremony. “If not for the steady supply of Penny’s delicious homemade elderberry preserves that I received during my time in the camps, I would have never survived,” he said. “In a sense, then, I suppose this dear woman should receive credit for the dissolution of the Soviet empire.”
Aunt Penny stood at her new husband’s side, smiling. “I can’t wait until Alex meets my nephew Kenny,” she said. “I know he didn’t get a fair deal from those Commies, but he’ll always get a fair deal from Kenny, and you will, too!” Following a honeymoon in Tijuana, the couple plan to reside in Upper St. Clair .
