PITTSBURGH - Pittsburgh's WTAE-TV news anchors Mike Clark and Wendy Bell delivered a stunning, impromptu tribute to Irish novelist James Joyce last night when they recited the entire broadcast in a rambling, stream of consciousness narrative filled with veiled barbs at the Roman Catholic Church, the Jesuit order, and construction work on the Parkway East.
A significant portion of the broadcast was spoken in Greek.
“I’ve been a fan of Joyce since I read 'A Portrait of the Anchor As A Young Man,'” said Mike Clark. “And not a day goes by when Schwenneker and Wiggin aren’t sitting around the newsroom reciting passages from Ulysses.”
Wendy Bell, the perky co-anchor of the Joyce tribute, ended the show with a rambling, fourteen minute monologue that concluded with her asking viewers “to keep it right here I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me for all the latest breaking all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad up to the minute we’ll see you at eleven yes I said yes I will yes.”
WTAE news director Bob Longo said research indicates that audiences are hungry for longer stories filled with impenetrable prose that leave them angry and confused. “Andrew Stockey and Kelly Frey are currently preparing for a September Action News This Morning tribute to David Mamet. We’re hoping our friends at the FCC will loosen up on the obscenity leash a bit,” said Longo. “After all, this isn’t just the news. This is art.”