God Confirms Vitter's Story Regarding 'Escort Service'

WASHINGTON (AP) - Sen. David Vitter, R-La., apologized Monday night for "a very serious sin in my past" after his telephone number appeared among those associated with an escort service operated by the so-called "D.C. Madam."
Vitter's spokesman, Joel Digrado, confirmed the statement in an e-mail sent to The Associated Press.

"This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible," Vitter said in the statement. "Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there—with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way."

God, reached at his office, confirmed Vitter's account.

"David brought this up to Me a few months ago. He seemed quite agitated and blurted out, 'And Lord, I also committed the unpardonable sin of adultery with that escort service woman who was on 20/20 the other day.' I'd seen the broadcast, but, frankly, had been disappointed. They didn't have any big names and they missed a senator's," God said. "Those people are going to Hell."

God also said he had received other confessions from prominent Washington figures who told Him they had been clients of Palfrey's.

"Out of respect to their families, I'm going to keep discussion of the matter right here -- between Me and Me," He said.

In a surprising twist, God said he had turned down an offer from Palfrey and her lawyer to hand over copies of the escort service phone list after 20/20 failed to name any prominent customers of Palfrey's.

"I figured if 20/20 couldn't find any big names, what chance had I of finding them? I mean, those people are trained professionals with years of experience in the sometimes tricky field of investigative journalism. All I did was create the world and keep it going," He said. "I might be all knowing, but ABC has more lawyers. In my realm, the lawyers don't tend to end up where I am and it shows. Churches are getting sued left and right. You ever hear of Satan getting hauled into court?"