Moskos, a left-handed relief pitcher from Clemson University , grimaced as soon as he put down his pen. He arose from his seat holding his arm, in obvious pain. General manager Dave Littlefield was observed heading toward his office with a revolver and a bottle of Jack Daniels. A preliminary diagnosis by team physicians revealed extensive damage to the ulnar collateral ligament. The newest injured pitcher on the Pirates staff has an appointment with Dr. James Andrews at his Birmingham, Alabama office Friday morning. Dr. Andrews is renowned for performing the so-called “Tommy John” surgery, named after the former Dodger pitcher who sawed off his elbow in a tragic brush-clearing accident.
Moskos said he knew something was wrong as soon as he began his signature. “I felt the pop in my left elbow just as I began making a capital D,” said the disappointed hurler. “I guess I should have printed my name, instead of using cursive.” Moskos later admitted he didn’t warm up properly before attempting cursive. “I guess that’s the kind of thing that comes with big league experience,” he lamented. “I’ll remember that when I sign the big free agent contract that takes me out of here.”