PITTSBURGH - Beset by rumors and speculation, Mayor Luke Ravenstahl today finally addressed reports that he got drunk and shoved a police officer while waiting in line for the release of the new Harry Potter book.
Responding to accusations on a blog maintained by former WPXI anchorwoman Edye Tarbox, Ravenstahl gave his account of the July 20th incident in which he argued with, and was eventually handcuffed by, a police officer at the Eastside Borders bookstore.
"Myself and everybody else that was in the front of the line had no control of our bodies going forward," Mr. Ravenstahl said. "But that was the hot place to be that night, so there was no way in hell I was gonna leave."
The mayor denied being drunk, but did admit that he and his friends had consumed "maybe a coupla beers" earlier in the evening while tailgating in the Whole Foods parking lot. "This is the last Harry Potter book ever, man. We had to get our wizard on and have some fun."
Just before midnight, when a police officer in charge of security told Mr.Ravenstahl to stop cutting in line and wait his turn like everyone else, the mayor immediately identified himself. "I told him, 'Hey, dude, I'm the mayor! Step off!' When he expressed back to me that he didn't care who I was, I decided to pursue the matter going forward."
The mayor admitted using language that "maybe I shouldn't have," but claims" at no time did I physically assault that jerkwad." The mayor also denied pointing his middle finger at the officer and shouting, "Avada Kedavra, pig! Avada Kedavra!"
Mr. Ravenstahl vehemently criticized what he called "Death Eater Journalism" that has blown this story out of proportion in an attempt to benefit Mark DeSantis, his Republican challenger in the upcoming election.
"Could I have handled it in a different way? I guess," Mr. Ravenstahl said. "But I feel, and felt, and still do, that I have an obligation, or had an obligation, as an elected official, as a mayor that represents the city and its neighborhoods, to be there and have as much fun as possible."
When asked if he had finished reading the book, Mr. Ravenstahl replied,"What book?"