WASHINGTON - Alberto Gonzales, the nation's first Hispanic attorney general, and Speedy Gonzalez, Warner Brothers' first Hispanic cartoon star, announced their resignations Monday in a rare joint press conference, ending nasty standoffs over their honesty.
Alberto Gonzales's honesty was called into question following testimony many have dubbed evasive before a Congressional committee investigating the firings of U.S. Attorneys. Speedy Gonzalez's honesty was called into question last week amid revelations that his caricatured and demeaning impersonation of a Mexican mouse was, in fact, fabricated. Verified documents reveal Speedy was actually a Jewish pants presser from Brooklyn named Harry Gerguson.
A presidential aide who asked not to be identified said that President Bush was "quite surprised to see [Gonzales and Gonzalez] together this morning because, frankly, he always thought the Attorney General was the Warner Brothers' cartoon star." Bush reportedly always bragged to friends that the Attorney General can "outrun any cat."
Neither Gonzales nor Gonzalez discussed charges about their honesty in their joint appearance. The Attorney General said that "it has been my greatest honor to lead the Justice Department." Speedy Gonzalez said he plans to live out his "golden years" in Tel Aviv. "My days of constantly running are over," the beloved mouse told reporters.