CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL, THINKS HE'S FORMER KIDS' SHOW SIDEKICK MR. GREENJEANS

WASHINGTON - Chief Justice John Roberts was released from a Maine hospital Tuesday after suffering a seizure and told President Bush by telephone he was doing fine. Bush immediately noticed there was something wrong, however, because Roberts kept referring to him as "Captain" and repeatedly said he was "glad to be back at the Treasure House."

It quickly became apparent to Roberts' friends and associates that the Chief Justice believes he is Mr. Greenjeans, long-time sidekick to TV's Captain Kangaroo. Mr. Greenjeans was played by the late actor Hugh "Lumpy" Brannum.

Justice Samuel Alito said that he called Roberts to discuss a certain antitrust case pending before the Supreme Court. "I asked him if he'd read the briefs yet," Alito said, "and he told me, 'no, but Mr. Moose and Bunny Rabbit have.'"