EDINBURGH - The highlight of each performance of the Circus of Horrors at the annual Edinburgh Fringe Festival is for a dwarf performer to appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member. Last night, the act went horribly awry when the dwarf's manhood got stuck in the vacuum, and he had to be rushed to a hospital. Although embarrassed, the dwarf says the show will go on.

EDINBURGH - A seventeen-year-old boy was rushed to the hospital after his mother found him in his room with his manhood stuck to a vacuum cleaner. The mother angrily accused the boy of pleasuring himself but the lad calmly explained that he was merely honing his skills so he could try out for the Circus of Horrors.