SCENES FROM THE UPCOMING BUSH WEDDING

KARL ROVE: He's not on the list but Donald Rumsfeld wants to see you.
BUSH: Is this necessary?
KARL ROVE: He didn't expect to be invited to the wedding, so he wanted to thank you.
BUSH: All right.
RUMSFELD: (Talking to himself) Don Bush, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home on the wedding day of your daughter. And may their first child be a masculine child.

COLUMBA BUSH: Jeb, that man over there is talking to himself. You see that scary guy over there?
JEB BUSH: He's a very scary guy.
COLUMBA BUSH: Well, who is he? What's his name?
JEB BUSH: His name is Donald Rumsfeld, and he helps my brother out sometimes. Like the time my brother went to see this Prime Minister of Great Britain, Tony Blair, and he offered him $10,000 to get Britain to join in the Iraq war. But the Prime Minister said "no." So the next day, my brother went to see this Prime Minister, only with Donald Rumsfeld. Within an hour, he signed a contract to join my brother's coalition of the willing for a certified check for $1,000.
COLUMBA BUSH: Why did he do that?
JEB BUSH: My brother made him an offer he couldn't refuse.
COLUMBA BUSH: What was that?
JEB BUSH: Donald Rumsfeld held a gun to his head and my brother assured him that either his brains or his signature would be on the contract. That's a true story. That's my family, Columba, not me.