Fire When Ready

HARRISBURG -- Obsessive stalkers and street thugs breathed a sigh of relief as gun sales resumed in Pennsylvania after being suspended for a little more than a day. Men in Trans-Ams and pickup trucks with oversized tires hooted and honked their horns outside gun shops as sales resumed.

"Domestic violence and random killings and shootings over trivial disputes should pick up again," said state police commander Col. David Crockett. "The state's got 26 hours of impulse gun-buying to catch up on."

Happy gun buyer Cleb Chutney of Verona said, "I been waiting for two days to teach my neighbor's dog a lesson. The state has no business interfering with my right to extract street justice." Col.Crockett agreed with this assessment but joked to Chutney, "I'll be seeing you real soon."