[TO THE ARIZONA FANS WHOSE BRAINS WERE FRIED BY THE HEAT -- THIS IS A SPOOF]
He was all nice to me until I gave him the money, and then he dropped me like a bad snap,” victim says
BRENTWOOD --- South Hills resident Karenna Kern, who says she loaned money to Steelers quarterback Brian St. Pierre, is still waiting for repayment a year after the original agreement.
“Brian’s a sweet guy, but I can’t afford to be out that money,” Kern said today. “I don’t want to take him to small claims court, but I don’t get a response soon, I may have to resort to that.”
Through a team spokesman, St. Pierre released this statement: “I have never met Ms. Kern, nor have I borrowed money from her or any other person. I believe Ms. Kern has been victimized by one individual using my name to solicit money for himself. It’s an unfortunate situation, and I urge her to contact local law enforcement.”
Kern refuses to believe she was actually taken in by Steelers impersonator Brian Jackson, also of Brentwood. “No, I’m sure it was Brian St. Pierre,” she insisted. “He had the jersey with the number two on it, he told me about his conversations with Ben, and he knew all the football lingo. He told me that ‘hot read’ was a passing route, but it also applied to me.” Kern blushed slightly at the memory. “I know I’m old enough to be his mother, but I just thought that he appreciated more mature women. When he asked to borrow money, I figured that third-string quarterbacks don’t make that much, so I gave it to him.”
That’s when the relationship ended. “He dropped me like a bad snap. I haven’t heard a word from him in months. At first I thought the problem was that he might be cut, but he made the roster again this year. Now we’re past the bye week and I still haven’t heard anything.”
Kern is looking for new ways to reach St. Pierre, and she would like anyone who runs into him to pass along a message. “Tell him I want my $3,200 back, and interest,” she said. “And by ‘interest’ I mean money, not ‘interest’ in me. I am so done with him.”