PITTSBURGH – UPMC Magee Women's Hospital has announced it will open a men's wing due to the shocking number of males in Pennsylvania who are developing breasts and therefore breast-related ailments. Experts believe the male mammary gland explosion is due to rBGH hormone which has been banned in many countries but still used by PA dairymen. Many men, like the one pictured above, are trying to flatten their enlarged breasts by wearing undergarments called "Manziers" or "Bros."
"Bovine Grown Hormone [rBGH] is injected into dairy cows to promote greater milk production," said Dr. Sanjay Gupta who has been looking a bit chesty himself. "Consumers have long felt this hormone would find its way into the milk supply and they tried to avoid drinking it by purchasing brands labeled 'hormone free.' But PA Secretary of Agriculture Dennis Wolff banned those labels and now no one can tell which milk contains what."
Wolff press secretary Penny Gilchrest admitted to being delighted with her larger breast size, but denied that rBGH milk had anything to do with it.
"Yes, I love my new bouncy breasts, but no scientific testing of any type has ever shown any difference between milk with added hormones and milk without them."
Critics insist Secretary Wolff, a former dairyman, enacted the ban to protect the market interests of his dairy farmer friends. They say he took further advantage of the situation when he also became part-owner of the men's undergarment line which sells the Manziers.
Wolff was not available to address the new charges. His office would not speak to reporters, only issuing a stern "No comment, bro" statement.
"Bovine Grown Hormone [rBGH] is injected into dairy cows to promote greater milk production," said Dr. Sanjay Gupta who has been looking a bit chesty himself. "Consumers have long felt this hormone would find its way into the milk supply and they tried to avoid drinking it by purchasing brands labeled 'hormone free.' But PA Secretary of Agriculture Dennis Wolff banned those labels and now no one can tell which milk contains what."
Wolff press secretary Penny Gilchrest admitted to being delighted with her larger breast size, but denied that rBGH milk had anything to do with it.
"Yes, I love my new bouncy breasts, but no scientific testing of any type has ever shown any difference between milk with added hormones and milk without them."
Critics insist Secretary Wolff, a former dairyman, enacted the ban to protect the market interests of his dairy farmer friends. They say he took further advantage of the situation when he also became part-owner of the men's undergarment line which sells the Manziers.
Wolff was not available to address the new charges. His office would not speak to reporters, only issuing a stern "No comment, bro" statement.
