Ravenstahl Wins, Gets to Be Mayor for another Semester

PITTSBURGH -- Pittsburghers overwhelmingly re-elected both Mayor Luke Ravenstahl and Pakistan's President Pervez Musharraf in yesterday's off-year election. City election officials were baffled as to how the Pakistani presidential election appeared on the city ballot, but expressed relief "that things worked out for that nice country."

The city's support of Musharraf brought an end to the violence and chaos that has swept the Asian nuclear power since last week's declaration of a State of Emergency. However, Ravenstahl's re-election had the opposite effect as Allegheny County Executive Dan Onorato declared a State of Emergency, placing 'Parental Controls' on city government for the next two years.