R&B LEGEND “SURPRISED” TO BE IN HEAVEN, LOOKING FORWARD TO BEATING THE GREAT WOMEN OF HISTORY(Heaven) Guitarist Ike Turner, who died last week at the age of 76 in his San Marcos, California home, said he was surprised to find himself in heaven given his long history of drug dependency and violence. Turner made his remarks Monday morning while appearing in a vision to three male fans waiting on line outside of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio.
“He said that in my father’s house, there are many mansions, and every room of every mansion is filled with women waiting for old Ike to smack ‘em around,” said Dave Corbett, of Shaker Heights. “He said he had to show Eleanor Roosevelt who was boss last night” after the former first lady neglected to provide enough sugar for his tea. “She only gave me one lump, so I gave her two.”
The three witnesses to Ike Turner’s visit also said Mr. Turner promised three miracles in their lifetime, and that the completion of the final miracle would signal the return to Earth of the Son of God and Mr. Turner. “I’m putting together the final touches on the Ike and Jesus Christ Revue right now,” he said.
Mr. Turner swore the men to secrecy about the details of the miracles he described, vowing to inflict extensive physical punishment on their deceased female relatives should they fail to heed his warning.
All three men were taken to Cleveland General Hospital, where they remain under observation.
