The Pleasant Hills Presbyterian Church is staging its 24th annual living nativity scene, but this year there's a twist. "All of the characters are played by atheists," explained Rev. Bradleys Roadhouse, the church's pastor. "From Mary and Joseph down to the acne-scarred drummer boy."
Parishioners applauded their pastor's effort to engage non-believers in the celebration of Christmas, but Rev. Roadhouse admitted that's not why he did it. "I just thought it would be a real hoot to be able to say that every character is played by a damned-to-hell-for-eternity agnostic," Roadhouse chuckled. "You know, when you do the same thing every year, sometimes you have to spice it up to keep it interesting for yourself."
Local atheist Noah Swayne, 22, who plays Joseph, said he knew nothing about the role. "I asked the Reverend, 'What's this dude's motivation?' and he, like, gave me this book written by all these dead guys that tells all about it. So I read it, and, like, I can really relate to this Joseph dude, because my ex-girlfriend hit me up for paternity, too, even though I'm not the real father, just like him. I asked the court to, like, let me take a paternity test but they refused, so I'm stuck paying 215 a month for, like, the next 18 years. So, yeah, I can relate to this dude, totally."
Some parishioners say they have been so moved by the atheists' performance, they have never experienced Christmas on such a deeply spiritual level. A few have even talked to the actors about converting to atheism. Rev. Roadhouse puffed on his cigar and chuckled when he heard that. "Well, that's a little deep for me. Maybe next year I'll go with my original idea: the living nativity with all Hooter's waitresses."
The Living Nativity runs nightly through December 23.
