PITTSBURGH - Using the computer-generated technology that television networks employ during NFL games to mark the spot the offense must pass for a first down, colleges around the country are equipping women's dorms with a switch that generates a fluorescent yellow line seven inches from wherever the woman happens to be. Hanna Hyphen-Lugosi, dean of students at the University of Pittsburgh, explained that any male visiting a woman's dorm will be required to wear a "receiver collar" around his neck, and if he tries to pass the yellow line a radio signal will emit an electric shock. "It's actually quite amusing to watch," she chuckled.
Colleges are borrowing the NFL's virtual first-down technology because "that's something guys can relate to," Dean Hyphen-Lugosi explained, rolling her eyes. The seven-inch distance was selected "for obvious reasons," she smirked.
Dean Hyphen-Lugosi said the University was sensitive to male students' complaints that the policy is discriminatory. "That's why we dropped the requirement that they wear the collars around their [genitals]," she explained. "That was a major concession by the women because they were very much looking forward to seeing the boys' reactions when they crossed the line."
