WORLD-CLASS CELLIST FORCED TO PERFORM “FROSTY THE SNOWMAN” FOR FOOD COURT CROWD

PITTSBURGH - Although he’s trained for years with some of the world’s great orchestras, cellist Michael Oldaker was compelled to performed today for the Fifth Avenue Place food court as part of the Pittsburgh Symphony’s community outreach program.

“I’m so humiliated,” said Oldaker. “I’ve spent years practicing the works of Bach, Mozart and Brahms. And here I am. Right next to Hot Diggity Dog playing ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ on my cello! I’ve had it! This isn’t a parlor trick I’m doing here!” Oldaker did concede, however, that this performance wasn’t as bad as last year when he had to play “Rock and Roll, Part 2” outside of Mellon Arena before a Penguins game.