DIXVILLE NOTCH - Tears worked so well for Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire that John Edwards plans to steal a tissue from her playbook as he makes his way to South Carolina for the next presidential primary. Volunteers from the Edwards campaign were caught on camera at a Spartanburg, South Carolina Wal-Mart buying up every box of Kleenex in stock while Edwards rehearsed his new tearful gaze."Wow. This is not easy," Edwards mumbled under his breath. Insiders say Edwards is having difficulty displaying a sad face due to the smile implant surgery he had four years ago.
Meanwhile, rumors circulated that the Edwards camp is preparing to announce that Edwards' wife Elizabeth suffers from Ebola. "Cancer wasn't enough to move the needle with these tough Yanks," said the candidate in an unguarded moment after his second straight poor showing in the primaries. "Let's see how this works."
