LAHORE, Pakistan - Bowing to international pressure, Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf has hired Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin to help him deal with the aftermath of the assassination last week of former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto.
President Musharraf introduced Coach Tomlin to reporters this morning. “I was proud of the way the former Prime Minister battled out there, but, obviously, we didn’t get the job done last week in terms of protection for Big Benazir,” he said. “But we’re not going to make excuses. As I told the guys in Pakistan ’s security forces, and President Musharraf, the answer to all of Pakistan's problems are right here in this country. I’ll answer any questions.”
Asked what he would do to help quell the violence in the wake of Bhutto’s death, Tomlin didn’t hesitate. “We’re going to continue to prepare, like we always do, to do whatever we have to do to get the job done. We’re not going to lose sight of the prize. We’re going to make the necessary adjustments, and continue to move the democratic process forward.”
When pressed on specifics about the extent of the damage to Bhutto’s body, the ever-cautious football coach remained coy. “She’s got a high ankle sprain, and a stinger. She also tweaked a hamstring. And fractured her skull.” Despite the fact that Bhutto has been dead for over seven days, Tomlin refused to list her as “out” for national elections now scheduled for February 8, 2008. “Big Ben is a competitor,” he said. “I’m not ruling out the possibility of a comeback.”
