REVIEW BY GAY THEATER CRITIC PEREZ MARRIOTT - The Pittsburgh Musical Theatre's "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" at the Byham through February 3 offers two exquisite must-see features: (1) the fabulous dreamcoat itself which literally caused me to gasp aloud, and (2) David Toole, the college boy lead who plays much of the show shirtless, who literally caused me to gasp aloud. My Post-Gazette colleague Christopher Rawson wrote that young Mr. Toole "is an appealing Joseph, with a physique that got lots of appreciative squeals." That was me squealing, Mr. Rawson. In fact, I'm squealing every time I look at his picture. Eeeeeee! I really can't tell you what happened in the show because I was distracted for prolonged periods of time wondering if David's last name is apt. (David, contact me through Carbolic Smoke Ball -- I'd like to give you some, ah, pointers about your performance. Tee hee hee!)REVIEW BY EX-DUKE LACROSSE STRIPPER CRYSTAL GAIL MANGUM - I went to see this show because of its historical importance. It tells the story of the first reported case of a rape allegation. The wife of Potiphar, a wealthy Egyptian, seduces white boy Joseph, who rebuffs her, so of course she accuses him of sexual assault. Good for you, Mrs. Potiphar! Everyone believes Mrs. Potiphar, as is only proper since Joseph is a white male, so he's thrown in prison, as is only proper, too. Mrs. Potiphar is never charged for filing a false rape claim, and that, too, is only proper. The white boy got what he deserved, of course, for reasons far too numerous to chronicle here. But that's all I can say about the show. I may not be the best one to review it since it features so many white boys, and I literally can't tell one apart from the rest. I'd be terrible if I had to pick one of them out of a line-up. Oh, disregard that last statement.
REVIEW BY LEGENDARY FORMER PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY CONDUCTOR FRITZ REINER - What is theeese?! Theese is not music! Theeese is an abomination! [Here Mr. Reiner hurled the computer keyboard at a wall.]
