Washington , D.C. - President Bush asked Congress to authorize funding to wage a war on erectile dysfunction that will abolish the unpleasant, highly-sensitive condition by the year 2012.
“If we can put a man on the moon, we can make sure that every law-abiding, tax-paying male citizen of this great republic is able to use his penis for non-deviant, biblically-approved monogamous sexual relations with his spouse whenever he wants,” said the President.
After the President's address, spokeswoman Dana Perrino hastened to add that the President currently enjoys a robust sexual relationship with the first lady. “The President only became aware of the terrible scourge of erectile dysfunction when he was forced to endure over one-hundred commercials for Cialis during the first half of last Sunday’s NFC Championship game between the Green Bay Packers and New York Giants.” Cialis is a drug used to combat erectile dysfunction. When asked why he chose to make the eradication of this particular male sexual performance issue the thrust of his speech, Ms. Perrino paused before answering. “This is the President’s last State of the Union Address,” said Perrino. “I think he’d like to be remembered as a guy who went out with a bang.”
