PITTSBURGH - In a stunning reversal, Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin told members of the media gathered at the final press conference of his inaugural season that he would use excuses to justify his team’s loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars in the first round of the playoffs Saturday night.“After a great deal of thought, I have decided that blaming other people is the easiest way to absolve myself, and our team, of any responsibility for the final outcome of the game against the Jaguars,” said Tomlin. “Obviously, we didn’t get the job done. But I realize now that the best way of dealing with not achieving a goal is to look deep within yourself and find an acceptable rationalization that will allow you to justify your own failure.”
Asked if there was a single excuse he found most plausible, he declined to single out just one. “There are so many outstanding possibilities, it’s hard to know where to begin. The poor quality of the field surface is a good place to start, not to mention our many injuries, and you can’t forget the weather conditions. I could go on, and I will, because now that I have abandoned my usual post-game stoicism, I find the experience quite liberating.”
Tomlin then added a litany of excuses he believed contributed to the Steelers defeat, ranging from existential despair among members of the kick-off coverage team to performance anxiety on the offensive line. The coach promised he would spend the off-season searching for additional excuses. “If I come up with any more, I’ll be glad to share them with you at the appropriate time.”
