PITTSBURGH -- A Hill District group is urging Mayor Ravenstahl and the McDonald's Corporation to return to the bargaining table to help complete a deal for a community benefits agreement related to the renaming of Frank Curto Park.
The One Hill Coalition sent a letter to Mayor Ravenstahl and to McDonald's CEO Jim Skinner yesterday, just hours after the pair announced a deal for $5 million in cash and three new McDonald's restaurants in the Hill to rename the Bigelow Boulevard park, "Extra Value Meal Overlook." Those terms, One Hill Coalition leaders say, don't do nearly enough to benefit the residents of the Hill District.
"We're hungry for more than just hamburgers," said an angry Carl Redwood, Chairman of the One Hill group. "We're hungry for community benefits! And they'd better be supersized!"
Just before a member of his entourage set fire to a handful of McDonald's hamburger wrappers, Mr. Redwood noted that Frank Curto Park sits below the Hill District, and that "it even sits atop a Hill of its own," so the city has a moral and spiritual obligation to provide more than "vague promises and a couple of Uncle-Tom-and-Ronald fast food joints" to the members of his historic community.
"Three new Mickey D's won't undo the damage done by the Civic Arena," Mr. Redwood said. "If we don't get more than that -- a whole lot more -- then we'll make sure this project is the biggest mistake McDonald's has made since the McLean Deluxe!"
Mr. Redwood would not elaborate on that statement, but Hill District activist Kimberly Ellis volunteered that lawsuits, protests, sit-ins, and promises to eat only at Burger King and Steak 'n Shake were "all on the table, 'cause nobody puts baby in a corner, and we won't repeat the defeat!"
No one was immediately available to translate her remarks.
Mayor Ravenstahl, who was flying to New York City on Ronald McDonald's private jet, could not be reached for comment. Mr. Ravenstahl's Press Secretary, Alecia Sirk, said, "those One Hill people like, really need to chill, you know? Somebody oughta buy 'em a big milkshake, and remind 'em that Big Macs have been around a lot longer than the stupid Hill District."
A copy of the letter sent to Mayor Ravenstahl and Mr. Skinner, obtained by the Carbolic Smoke Ball, revealed that One Hill leaders are demanding at least two more McDonald's restaurants, 135% of all the jobs they create, first dibs on all Happy Meal Toys, a statue of August Wilson eating a cheeseburger, and an assurance that the Extra Value Meal Overlook's new milkshake sculpture will be chocolate, not vanilla.
