PITTSBURGH - After months of speculation, Jeanette quarterback Terrelle Pryor finally announced yesterday where he will go following his graduation from high school this spring. Pryor emerged from an eighth period study hall and told reporters he will enter a religious order known as the Cistercians, or Trappist community.
"I'm going to The Abbey of Gethsemani in Bardstown, Kentucky." A representative for the Pryor family said rumors that Pryor was having a hard time choosing between Ohio State and Michigan were untrue. "It was always between the Trappists and Buddhists. In the end, Terrelle just thought the Trappists were a better fit." Pryor is expected to be able to lead a life of both prayer and penance at his new home.
Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez, who began recruiting Pryor when he was still the head coach at West Virginia University, expressed surprise at Pryor's announcement. "I know that Terrelle is perfect for the contemplative lifestyle they run at Gethsemani, but I don't know if they're the right program to get him to the next level." Rodriguez said he thought that Michigan had the inside track, but that the Trappists "came at [Pryor] hard" over the past six weeks. "When they go after a kid, they make a lot of promises." He declined to specify exactly what those promises might entail, but it is believed they involve the communion of Saints, a seat at the right hand of the Father, and eternal life. "All I can do is get him to the NFL."
