HAVANA - New Cuban President for life Raul Castro is growing increasingly annoyed by the constant presence of his brother, former President for life Fidel Castro. “He’s always coming into the office for no reason at all,” said Raul. “He retired two weeks ago, yet he still feels the need to hang around and look over my shoulder.” Raul said his brother is forever making suggestions that begin with “When I was dictator,” or “We used to execute people this way,” and he finds it frustrating. “I realize he did a great job for fifty years crushing the lives of millions of people, but I know I can do it, too. I just need the opportunity.” Raul said he fears he won’t get the chance as long as Fidel remains on the scene, and he regrets giving him the honorary title “Special Assistant to the Dictator.” He said his brother took the title to heart. “He’s got it on his stationary. He has it on the door to his office. He even had a couple of political prisoners paint it on his parking space out front – with a toothbrush.”
Raul added that he hoped Fidel would soon discover there are other ways for aging tyrants to spend their twilight years. “I tell him he should take up golf, or walk the mall. I tell him he should take advantage of the senior citizen discount available at many of Havana’s finest buffet restaurants. Do anything, but do it somewhere else!”
