PITCAIRN - Dolly Lama is at her wit’s end. “The phone never stops ringing. If it’s not somebody from Amnesty International, it’s Richard Gere. Every time I answer I tell them the same thing: I’m not that Dolly Lama.” The person they’re trying to reach, of course, is the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Ms. Lama understands the confusion, and she sympathizes. “The spelling of our names is nearly identical, so it’s easy to see where the mix-up occurs. I’m sure Mr. Lama is sick and tired of getting phone calls and mail intended for me.” As proof, Ms. Lama produces a dog-eared copy of her AARP membership renewal form that was mailed to Mr. Lama’s home in Northern India and forwarded to her. “You can tell he’s getting mad about this whole situation by the hand-written note he wrote on the envelope,” she said. In bold, black letters, Mr. Lama scrawled "I’M NOT HER!"
With recent riots in the Himalayas in favor of Tibetan autonomy, and the subsequent crackdown by the Chinese government, Ms. Lama hasn’t had a moment’s peace. “That Charles Gibson fellow from ABC is a real jerk. I couldn’t get him off the line. When I finally told him to go to hell, he told me I guess I’ve got the wrong Dolly Lama!”
Ms. Lama said she’s calling the phone company the first thing tomorrow morning and finding out how to get an unlisted number. “If Mr. Lama had any brains, he’d do the same thing,” she said.
