Dismissed from Jobs, Alecia Sirk and Pat Ford Return to the Future From Whence They Came

PITTSBURGH -- One day after stepping down from their city posts after revelations they received pricey electronic gifts from an advertising executive, former Mayoral Press Secretary Alecia Sirk and her husband, ousted Urban Redevelopment Authority director Pat Ford boarded an ion transponder and returned to the future.

“Our work here is completed and, by installing Luke Ravenstahl in office we have prevented the disastrous U.S.-Canada War of 2417 that threatened to destroy the Fourth Bush Dynasty,” said Ms. Sirk before dissolving into a mist.

She declined to explain further saying it was “complicated and a little boring.”

The couple told reporters they had been sent by their supreme commander to guarantee Mr. Ravenstahl’s election and had received further instructions through a series of electronic billboards, notably a Lamar Advertising Sign along Banksville Road.

“I know it looked like one of those Jack Daniels Country Cocktails ads to most people,” said Mr. Ford. “Just suffice it to say, you’re all a lot safer now and, by the way, gasoline is going to be $4 in mid-June. Also, where I’m headed to, the Pirates still suck. Some things can’t be solved so easily.”