Time machine inventor returns to Titanic to save “men and children first”

To commemorate the anniversary of the April 15, 1912 sinking of Titanic, time-machine inventor Dr. Chad Hermann has issued a call to feminist scholars and Women’s Studies professors to return to the ship’s deck on that fateful night and help him reverse the sexism practiced by men who insisted on saving “women and children first.”

Thus far, no one has accepted the offer.

One professor, who asked to remain anonymous, explained, “I’m for equality and all that, but he’s nuts.”