WASHINGTON, D.C. - Hans Blix, lured out of retirement to help NASA astronomers locate the missing matter in the universe, announced today that he's found most of it.
Blix, the former chief UN arms inspector in Iraq who claimed he could find no evidence that Saddam Hussein harbored weapons of mass destruction, said it's the first thing he's ever actually found.
"What I do best is not find things that aren't there," said Blix. "I'm frankly amazed that I was able to find the missing matter -- or anything else."
"It was the damnedest thing where we found it," Blix revealed. "It was right there in Baghdad. Isn't that ironic?"