DALLAS - A newly restored print of the Zapruder film is being released nationwide this week, with narration provided by Pittsburgh Penguins radio announcer Mike Lange. The film is being rushed to theaters in an attempt to cash in on the traditional start of the summer movie season and the finals of the National Hockey League’s Stanley Cup playoffs. A trailer for the film has received over ten million hits on YouTube.

In the trailer, Mr. Lange is heard broadcasting the Kennedy assassination. “Hear comes the motorcade, through Dealey Plaza , past the grassy knoll, near the Book Depository, one man to beat, Oswald shoots, HE SCORESSSSSS! [Sound of siren wailing] OH MICHAEL, MICHAEL, MOTORCYCLE! LEE HARVEY OSWALD BRINGS THE NEW FRONTIER TO AN END! AND YOU’VE GOT TO BE HERE TO BELIEVE IT!”

Mr. Lange said he was grateful for the opportunity to participate in the project. “I know that Pirates play-by-play man Greg Brown was the first choice of the Zapruder family, but he was unavailable. I’m glad they gave me a chance.” NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said he approved of Mr. Lange’s involvement. “I think it’s great for our league. It’s great publicity. Mike has been on the air for over thirty years describing accounts of some of the most violent acts in history. He was an obvious choice.”