CHICAGO - Sam “Momo” Giancana, a self-described independent businessman who, according to the Justice Department, is also a murderous member of La Cosa Nostra, called his recent weekend camping trip a complete success. Mr. Giancana has assumed the role of Scoutmaster for a troop of adolescent boys as part of a community service program he was required to enter following his conviction in the manslaughter death of Don “No Knuckles” Deluca.
According to one member of the troop, Mr. Giancana has been an informative, inspirational leader. “Mr. Sam showed us how to start a fire, using only a little kerosene and some rags,” said fifteen--ear old Doug Wagner of Oak Park. “Mr. Sam said you never know when you’ll have to torch a place to collect the insurance.” When this reporter attempted to ascertain young Wagner’s Boy Scout bona fides by asking him to recite the Boy Scout oath, Wagner invoked his Fifth Amendment rights. “I decline to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me,” he said.
Mr. Giancana recounted the details of his first camping trip as a Scout leader during a meeting with the Carbolic Smoke Ball Editorial Board this morning. “Me and the boys took a little ride out to Kane County on Saturday,” said Mr. Giancana. “I had them help me dispose of some garbage.” Mr. Giancana said the garbage was “so important” that it had to be “buried as far away from the city as possible.” He declined to identify the location of the burial site.