Pittsburgh Pirates reach half-way mark secretly building escape tunnel under Allegheny River

Several Pittsburgh Pirates are half-way finished secretly constructing a tunnel under the Allegheny River using a 500-ton boring machine.

The tunnel will allow the players to escape PNC Park, the players say.

“It’s our only way out,” one of the players explained. “Our goal is to be over in Gateway Center before Mr. Nutting even has a chance to blow the siren and release the dogs.”