(Washington , D.C.) - In a stunning reversal, the United States Supreme Court issued a ruling yesterday permitting the use of “entrance music” for attorneys arguing before the highest court in the land. The practice of using entrance music is most frequently employed by major league baseball teams, who use entrance music to accompany players entering the batters box. Beginning this fall, counsel will be allotted seven seconds of music before beginning their presentation.
The nine members of the Court themselves will ascend to the bench with a thirty second snippet of the Bobby Fuller Four classic, “I Fought The Law (And The Law Won)." The move is seen by many legal scholars as an attempt to win back fans turned off by the Supreme Court work stoppage last year, which saw the cancellation of the October session for the first time in the Court's two hundred years of existence. Attendance for the Court’s spring session is down, and a short-lived experiment with a so-called “hot-dog toss” between cases was abandoned when Justice Ginsburg sustained facial abrasions after being struck by an errant wiener.
“We owe it to the fans to make the experience of coming out to a Supreme Court argument a memorable event,” wrote Chief Justice Roberts. “At the same time, we need to preserve the dignity of this institution.”