Hands Transplant Patient Meets, Slaps Face of Face Transplant Patient

WASHINGTON - At the annual National Institutes of Health Christmas Party last night, Carol Murray, the world’s first hands transplant patient, used her new hands to slap the face of Chad Hermann, the world’s first face transplant patient. 

Ms. Murray’s transplanted hands formerly belonged to the wife of the man who donated Mr. Hermanns’ face. That marriage ended unhappily, allegedly because of the face donor’s repeated indiscretions.

Immediately after Ms. Murray was introduced to Mr. Hermann, her new hands began slapping his face. The other guests watched in horrified silence. 

“It was as if [my hands] had a mind of their own,” said Ms. Murray. 

Security guards quickly separated the pair. Dr. Bradleys Roadhouse, the surgeon who performed both transplants, arranged the historic meeting. 

“I thought it would be a real hoot to have them meet — you know, from a scientific perspective.” 

Dr. Roadhouse was “not surprised” by Ms. Murray’s attack on Mr. Hermann, given the prior relationship of the hands and face donors. 

“I’ve encountered similar phenomena in Haiti in connection with my studies of the occult,” he explained. “To the uninitiated, it can be a little off-putting.” 

Dr. Roadhouse observed that “there hasn’t been this much slapping in Washington since the Clintons occupied the White House.”