FLASHBACK: BRUCE WILLIS CLASSIC ORIGINALLY HAD CONTROVERSIAL TITLE, HAD TO BE CHANGED

 

VINDICTIVE MAGA PRIEST ADMINISTERS ASHES TO JOE BIDEN

 

Democrats Protest Trump's Speech with Signs, But There Was a Mix-Up by the Manufacturer

 

TRUMP BRINGS SPECIAL GUEST FOR SPEECH TO CONGRESS

INSIDERS REVEAL WHAT LED TO OVAL OFFICE BLOW-UP LAST WEEK: TRUMP SQUIRTED MUSTARD ON ZELENSKY'S FACE

 

BATTLE OF WILLS BETWEEN WORLD LEADERS ESCALATES

 

ADRIEN BRODY TAPPED TO MEDIATE UKRAINE-RUSSIAN WAR, BOTH SIDES CALL FOR 'TRUCE! JUST MAKE HIM SHUT UP!'

ADRIEN BRODY IN 19th HOUR OF OSCAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

 

ZELINSKY GOES TO PLAN 'B' TO FUND HIS WAR

 

TRUMP MAKES ENGLISH OFFICAL U.S. LANGUAGE; CHIPOTLE CHANGES NAME TO 'SMOKED CHILI PEPPER'

TRUMP TAKES ZELINSKYY OUT IN ROWBOAT WITH FREDO

 

TRUMP SETS CONDITIONS FOR MEETING WITH UKRAINE PRESIDENT ZELENSKYY AGAIN

 

UKRAINIAN PRESIDENT ZELENSKY RELEASES PHOTO OF MEETING HE SAYS OCCURRED WITH KING CHARLES

 

STUDY FINDS: THAT'S NOT 'ALL SHE WROTE'

Scientists have debunked the idiom “that’s all she wrote” by proving that she wrote more.

“The research really shocked us,” said Dr. Noah Swayne, who headed the five-year study at a cost to taxpayers of $18 million. 

President Trump plans to sign an executive order next week to alter the idiom to read "she wrote too much.”

TRUMP REACHES BOILING POINT WITH ZELENSKYY: 'COME ON! LET'S GO! PUT ON THE GLOVES!'

Ukrainian President Zelenskyy Delivers ‘Rare Earth Minerals’ to Trump, Tells Him They Are ‘Magically Delicious'

DEMOCRATS SAY THEY WON'T WORK WITH TRUMP'S NEW CONGRESSIONAL LIAISON

 

EPSTEIN FILES RELEASED: LIST OF CELEBS WITH CONNECTION TO JEFFREY EPSTEIN A 'WHO'S WHO' OF AMERICANA

Mr. Flintstone's agent Moses Horwitz reminds readers that inclusion in the Epstein documents does not imply wrongdoing--many of those listed had only a passing connection with Mr. Epstein.

THE LINCOLN STATUE SIGNALS A CLASSIC CRY FOR HELP OF KIDNAP VICTIMS

 

MUSK MEETS WITH CABINET SECRETARIES TO EXPLAIN HIS COST CUTTING MOVES

 

TRUMP WELCOMES BRITISH PRIME MINISTER KEIR STARMER

DISTRICT COURT JUDGE ORDERS TRUMP TO RESUME BIDEN PRACTICE OF DRIVING AROUND, THROWING THE PUBLIC'S MONEY OUT THE WINDOW

WASHINGTON (AP) — District Court Judge Adelphi Finn-Rubrick-Hines held that DOGE had no right to stop the Biden Administration’s “Drive-By Inflation Reduction Act,” where President Biden rode around the Beltway in the presidential limousine and hurled cash, amounting to billions of dollars of taxpayer money, at passersby idly standing around. 

WASHINGTON MONUMENT GIVEN A MAKEOVER

 "And soon, it will have a new name," says President Trump.

WALMART, BIDEN AGREE TO AMICABLY PART WAYS AFTER JUST THREE WEEKS: EX-PRESIDENT GAVE THE WRONG CHANGE 'ONE TIME TOO MANY'

 

A DETAIL OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY THAT NO ONE NOTICED UNTIL TODAY: LADY LIBERTY IS SMOKING A CIGARETTE

 

RARE PHOTO STUNS HISTORIANS: LINCOLN SNACKED ON COTTON CANDY WHILE DELIVERING THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS

 

ARCHEOLOGISTS LOCATE NOAH'S ARK, REPORT THAT IT HAD A SHUFFLEBOARD COURT

 

AMAZING TRIVIA: FDR NEEDED A WHEELCHAIR--EXCEPT WHEN HE WALKED A TIGHTROPE

 

KAMALA HARRIS SAYS SHE'S 'BACK HOME'

 

POPE STILL CRITICAL, BUT MANAGED TO BOWL A FEW FRAMES THIS AFTERNOON

 

IN TIMES OF NATIONAL TURMOIL, THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL STATUE IS SPOTTED LIGHTING UP A CIGARETTE

 

Shocker: The 'gold bars' at Fort Knox are chocolate

 

Flashback: The 'Star Wars' Mos Eisley Cantina before DEI

 

SOMETIME OVERNIGHT, TRUMP'S SIGNATURE WAS ADDED TO DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

 

FLASHBACK: MOUNT RUSHMORE BEFORE THE SURGEON GENERAL FORCED REMOVAL OF THE CIGARS

DORIAN GRAY POSED FOR A PICTURE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND, JOSH, AT EXACTLY THE SAME PLACE, EVERY TWENTY-FIVE YEARS

 

UKRAINE CAVES TO TRUMP'S DEMAND FOR RARE EARTH MINERALS AND THE RUBY SLIPPERS THAT ONCE BELONGED TO THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST

 

TRUMP DOES CONCERT AT THE KENNEDY CENTER HE NOW HEADS

Before the President went on stage, a surprised reporter asked, "Do you play the piano?" Trump responded: "I don't know. I never tried."

REPORT FROM THE WHITE HOUSE: NO ONE CHALLENGED MUSK WHEN HE ADDRESSED THE CABINET MEETING

 

KAMALA HARRIS REVEALS WHY DEMOCRATS LOST: 'TIM WALZ IS A VAMPIRE!'

 

THE ANGEL OF DEATH VISITS WASHINGTON, D.C. TONIGHT

The angel "passes over" homes that have the Elon Musk questionnaires filled out and hung on their doorposts

DOCTORS PERPLEXED: WHAT CAUSED POPE TO SUFFER SETBACK?

 

TRUMP ORDERS CRACK REPAIRED IN LIBERTY BELL

 

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION DENIES THAT WHITE HOUSE IS HAUNTED

 Musk Spotted Deep in Conversation with Lincoln and Reagan

SEN. FETTERMAN JOINS HIS OLD CASTMATES FOR 'ADDAMS FAMILY' REUNION SPECIAL

 

SCIENTIST REFUTES CLAIMS THAT IT WOULD BE 'BETTER' IF OUR SKIN WAS MADE OF SPONGELIKE MATERIAL

COMMENTARY: DR. NOAH SWAYNE, SCIENTIST  

It is disheartening to constantly hear otherwise learned and sensible people bemoan the fact that our skin is not made of sponge or sponge-like material. 

While wishing our bodies were covered with sponge instead of skin might be the "cool," "trendy" thing, it would pose untold dangers. I say this from a SCIENTIFIC perspective as a SCIENTIST.

Let me explain the SCIENCE: In a heavy rain, our bodies would absorb so much water that our weight would NEARLY DOUBLE. We would collapse to the floor in a massive, wet puddle due to this added weight. It would be almost impossible for us to walk to the tobacco shop or jump on the trampoline. We would need to get a (dried out!) friend to SQUEEZE the water out of us (a painful process--I can attest!) just so we could stand up and walk around the room! Getting a shower every morning would be a SHOWER NIGHTMARE!

So, the next time someone says that it would be "BETTER" if our bodies were covered with sponge or sponge-like material instead of skin, just point out these simple SCIENTIFIC facts!

NASA LAUNCHES MISSION TO REMOVE RED SPOT FROM JUPITER