Kilmar Abrego Garcia Tapped to Star in Wholesome NBC Sitcom Upon His Return from El Salvador

 

BIDEN RETURNS, INJECTS MUCH NEEDED VITALITY INTO DEMOCRATIC PARTY

 

ANY PARK, U.S.A.

 

Democrat's White House Photo-Op

 

THE BLACK LAGOON BECOMES 51st STATE

 

WASHINGTON MONUMENT GIVEN A MAKEOVER

 "And soon, it will have a new name," says President Trump.

JOE BIDEN SPENDING RETIREMENT CHECKING OFF ITEMS ON HIS BUCKET LIST

TRUMP'S TRADE WAR WITH CHINA INCLUDES STICKING PINS IN A PRESIDENT XI VOODOO DOLL

 

𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄, 𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄𝐒 ‘𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐏'

 

WALT DISNEY SPONTANEOUSLY AWAKENS FROM CRYOGENIC FREEZE TO CONDEMN 'SNOW WHITE' REMAKE

Cultural icon also asks: "Did Nixon make a comeback?"

 

Flashback: The 'Star Wars' Mos Eisley Cantina before DEI

 

TRUMP RENAMES 'BLACK LAGOON' THE 'AMERICAN LAGOON'

 

'RUN FOR A THIRD TERM? NO, I WON'T HAVE TO RUN.'

 

Dorian Gray posed for a photo with his best friend, Josh, at exactly the same place every 25 years

 

JD VANCE PARACHUTES INTO GREENLAND, CLAIMS TERRITORY FOR U.S.

 

POLICE CALM LOCAL NERVES: ENTITY SEEN TRAMPING THROUGH THE WOODS WAS NOT 'BIGFOOT'

 

ZELENSKY STEPS DOWN IN UKRAINE, SIGNS MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR DEAL TO BE ONE OF THE 'SMITH BROTHERS'

 "Just glad I didn't shave my beard--I'd have missed the opportunity," says Prez

PEZ CANDY 'PERPLEXED' WHY THE ADAM SCHIFF DISPENSER IS NOT A BIG SELLER

 

FOREIGN VISITORS REPORT A STRANGE PHENOMENON AT THE LINCOLN MEMORIALSINCE INAUGURATION DAY

Visitor: "When we got close, the statue moved its leg to reveal a secret message."

'CREEPIEST FILM OF THE YEAR'

TESLA TERRORIST IDENTIFIED AS 19-YEAR-OLD 'SNOW WHITE' OF BURBANK, CALIFORNIA

 

PBS DEFUNDED, COOKIE MONSTER EUTHENIZED AT 7:22 A.M.

 

TRUMP FORMS ROCK BAND WITH TERRORISTS: 'HOUTHI AND THE BLOWHARD'

HARRIS SAYS SHE WAS 'A WINNER' IN THE ELECTION--AND I'VE GOT THE TROPHY TO PROVE IT'

KAMALA HARRIS PLANS 2028 RUN, SAYS SHE 'KNOWS WHAT TO EMPHASIZE THIS TIME'

MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX KICKS OFF FUN-FILLED ANNUAL CONVENTION

 

TRUMP GIVES STATUE OF LIBERTY BACK TO FRANCE, DEDICATES THIS ONE TO REPLACE IT

 

STRANDED ASTRONAUTS FINALLY BROUGHT BACK TO EARTH, THEIR CAPSULE IMMEDIATELY SET ON FIRE BY MUSK PROTESTORS

 

CROWD IS SHOCKED AS ASTRONAUTS EMERGE FROM SPACEX RESCUE MISSION CAPSULE: "THAT'S NOT THEM!"

NASA: "We have no idea who these people are. They are not the astronauts SpaceX was supposed to rescue."

JFK FILES REVEAL 'ASSASSINATION' WAS STAGED--OSWALD AND KENNEDY SPOTTED TOGETHER 15 YEARS LATER AT A HOT DOG EATING CONTEST

TRUMP PROMINENTLY DISPLAYS HUNTER BIDEN PAINTINGS THROUGHOUT THE WHITE HOUSE

 

A LOOK INSIDE THE BIDEN WHITE HOUSE

 

IMAGE MAKEOVER: MITCH McCONNELL HEADS TO CANCUM TO BLEND IN WITH SPRING-BREAKERS

NEXT CHAPTER: BIDEN TAPPED AS SPECIAL ADVISER TO NEIGHBORHOOD OF MAKE BELIEVE

 "Uniquely qualified for this position," says ex-president.

WOMAN ATTACKED, HEROIC TEENS RUSH IN TO RECORD IT

 

Trivia: Joe Biden Played a Butler in Six Three Stooges Shorts

 

TRUMP UNVEILS HIS OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE PORTRAIT

 

Biden Plans His Own Funeral: Grave to Be Marked by 'The Eternal Cone'

 

Scene Where Sen. Chuck Schumer Was Eaten by the Shark Was Cut After Test Audience Applauded

 

New York Times "Best Seller" Even Though Only 17 Copies Were Sold

 

MEDICAL MYSTERY: FIVE YEARS AFTER PELOSI RIPPED UP TRUMP'S SPEECH, HER HANDS ARE STILL COVERED WITH PAPER CUTS

 

'WIZARD OF OZ' DIRECTOR'S CUT: DOROTHY MEETS FOUR CHARACTERS ON YELLOW BRICK ROAD: LION, TIN MAN, SCARECROW, AND MITCH

 

KING CHARLES STILL 'PISSED' THAT HIS SCENE WAS CUT FROM 'PULP FICTION'

Quentin Tarantino: Test audiences "weren't buying him" as a drug lord, so Ving Rhames replaced him.

Trump Gives Capitol A Makeover

 

TRUMP SAYS HE'S FOUND AN ORGANIZATION THAT CAN MAKE THE $37 TRILLION NATIONAL DEBT 'DISAPPEAR'

 

TRUMP DEMONSTRATES 'THE ART OF THE DEAL' TO BRING ZELENSKY TO NEGOTIATING TABLE

White House Correspondents' Association Plots Next Move After Trump Opens Up Press Conferences to New Media