BREAKING NEWS
BAGHDAD - Saddam Hussein has fired his entire legal team because of "incompetence" and has hired Michael Jackson's attorney Tom Mesereau to represent him.
"Saddam kept asking for 'Johnny,' meaning [O.J. Simpson counsel] Johnny Cochran, but I explained to him that Mr. Cochran is deceased," said Hussein's daughter, Velveeta Hussein-Lugosi. The next best thing was Mesereau, she said.
Mesereau immediately scurried to the Los Angeles airport to travel to Baghdad, and briefly spoke with reporters before boarding his flight. "I don't know much about the case yet but I've told Mr. Hussein that he should have no further contact with teenage boys because, although he is innocent, these relationships are often misconstrued." Traveling with Mesereau was Darius Figgins, the man who held the umbrella over Michael Jackson's head every day of Jackson's trial as Jackson entered the courthouse. Mesereau explained that Figgins will perform the same duties for Hussein.
Hussein had no comment about changing lawyers except to say, "I'm bad, I'm bad."
