VATICAN CITY - The Vatican today corrected false news leaks that said it appointed a commission of top theologians to reexamine the concept that unbaptized babies are sent to limbo, not heaven, when they die. No such study is in the works, the Vatican said.
Rather, a Vatican spokesman explained that a commission was empaneled to study the merits of the limbo dance, where participants lean backwards and, moving to a Caribbean rhythm, dance under a horizontal stick that is lowered with each pass.
The commission was prompted by the comments last year of then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger prior to being elected Pope in which he expressed misgivings about the dance's "nearly impossible gyrations, which are premised on the tiresome stunt of slinking ever lower and set to the annoying tom-tom of voodoo-like music." Then-Cardinal Ratzinger believed that Catholics the world over could save millions of dollars on chiropractic fees, "a portion of which would find its way into the collection basket," if the limbo were banned.
A Vatican official said that although no study is underway to examine the Church's teaching that unbaptized infants who die are sent to limbo and not heaven, "that [teaching] sure doesn't sound right, does it?" the official said. "Maybe we ought to look into that, after we issue our report on this dance."
