PITTSBURGH - A disappointed Bishop Donald Wuerl met with reporters on the steps of St. Paul's Cathedral the morning after he once again was passed over for induction into the College of Cardinals to address rumors that he has asked the selection committee to remove his name from next year's ballot. "It's just not true," said the Bishop. L.C. Greenwood, who was kept out of the Football Hall of Fame once again in this year's balloting, approached the Bishop and told him to "keep the faith. It'll happen." Experts speculate as to why Wuerl was kept out again. "Wuerl has spent his entire pastoral career in a small market diocese," said ESPN analyst Peter Gammons. "He's never received the national attention that, for example, New York-based prelates, such as Fulton Sheen and Willie Mays, have received." Many theologians opine that Wuerl has not obtained a national following because of his dry, pedagogic style and low-key approach to ministry. Others say that it is a backlash against Pittsburghers, and that there is a perception that "there have been too many Pittsburghers elected" to the College. One expert opined that it's because Wuerl has never played in a World Series.
But those who have seen the Bishop in action are effusive with their praise. When asked, "Who were the best concelebrants of the liturgy you have ever seen?" former Cincinnati Reds All-Star and convicted felon Pete Rose replied, "Donald Wuerl and anybody."
The Bishop has been a finalist for induction into the College for fourteen years. He admitted that he had become "disenchanted" with the process. "But I know a lot of good Bishops who aren't in," he said. "It's everybody's dream who enters this business to eventually get into the College. If it happens, it happens. It didn't this year, so you move on and wait for next year." Wuerl has one more year of eligibility after which he is barred unless selected by the Veterans' Committee. When told by reporters that Archbishop Sean O'Malley of Boston, who made it into the College in his first year of eligibility, called it "the greatest individual spiritual achievement that's ever happened in my life," Wuerl looked away and said in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "Thanks so much for sharing that with me."
