BUSH REACTION: "WHEN SADDAM IS FOUND GUILTY, WE'RE SENDING HIM TO THE RANCH TO QUAIL HUNT WITH CHENEY."CORPUS CHRISTI - Six Corpus Christi residents stepped forward yesterday and made the shocking allegation to local police that Vice President Dick Cheney routinely lures unsuspecting persons to the same ranch where he shot Harry Whittington last Saturday, and then sadistically hunts them as if they were human prey. Police describe each of the informants as credible, and in light of their revelations have begun to question hundreds of possible witnesses in connection with 216 cases of persons reported missing in the Corpus Christi area over the past five years. Many of those missing persons disappeared after they left for quail hunting trips.
One of the citizens who stepped forward yesterday, attorney Tim Murray of Fort Worth, told reporters that Cheney lured him to the ranch last September, supposedly to shoot quail, but that it quickly became apparent Cheney was after bigger game. "As soon as we got out of the car, he looked straight ahead, sort of strange," Murray recalled. "Then he said in a low, calm voice, 'You have thirty seconds.' I'm thinking, 'Thirty seconds for what?' He said, 'I have a bad heart, so that should give you enough time -- if you're fast enough.' Then he started counting out loud. I turned to the secret service agent and asked, 'He's joking, right?' The agent looked me in the eye and said, 'Mister, once Mr. Cheney starts counting, I've never heard him stop until he reaches 30.' Well, I was never so scared in my life. Needless to say, I ran as fast as I could. He got me in the leg, but I made it to the highway."
Another witness who stepped forward is motion picture screenwriter Bob Haas who revealed that one of the films he scripted, the horror classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, was actually based on Cheney. "Harry Whittington was one of the lucky ones," Haas said. "If I had to guess, I'd say there's probably a couple hundred bodies buried on that ranch, courtesy of the Vice President."
