PITTSBURGH - Gotham City Police Chief Chauncy O’Hara served as Grand Marsall at Pittsburgh’s annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade on Saturday. O’Hara, who retired from the Gotham City Police force in 1978 after capturing “Son of Sam” killer David Berkowitz, informed Mayor Ravenstahl that he was glad to be in a town “that didn’t have to worry about arch-criminals.” O’Hara said he was surprised by the appearance of our city. “I always heard it was smoky, and black and dirty. But it’s actually quite pretty.” When told he was now, officially, the one millionth person to express those sentiments, he appeared surprised. “Saints preserve us!” he exclaimed. Mayor Ravenstahl announced that 16 people were arrested Saturday for violating an executive order making it illegal to greet anyone “by placing an "O" in front of their last name in an attempt to create a faux Celtic connection between the person being greeted and the Irish race.” Ravenstahl explained that violators were fined seventy-five dollars and received a punch in the mouth, "in honor of the day."
