PITTSBURGH - Helen Palsgraf, 38, a tenth grade chemistry teacher at Spiro T. Agnew High School in McKees Rocks, has been suspended without pay pending a trial in connection with charges that she had sex with a 17-year old pierogi on the experiment table of the school's chemistry lab. Both Mrs. Palsgraf and the pierogi were wearing only lab goggles at the time. Mrs. Palsgraf, married and the mother of three children, admitted that she is "in love with Pierre Knox," the young pierogi, and that she is pregnant "with one of his dumplings."
Psychiatrist Dr. Bradleys Roadhouse views this latest infraction as part of a disturbing national trend involving women in the sexual prime of their lives who choose to have illicit sexual relations with food. "After that happens," said Dr. Roadhouse, "the food is usually never right."
