ORLANDO - Chester ("Ches") Nutt claims that he has located his long-lost identical twin brother, Walt ("Wal") Nutt, after a thirty-year separation, when he stumbled upon what he believes is the calcified body of his brother being used as a department store mannequin in Ormandy's, located in Orlando Florida. Wal, who was believed to have died on the operating table of Arnold Palmer Hospital in Orlando while having tubes implanted in his ears when he was a boy, is immobile and unable to speak. But Ches knew immediately that it was Wal. "I was browsing in the sports department when, WHAM! There was Wal, posing as a football player," said Ches. "He still looked exactly like me -- it was as if I was looking in a mirror," Ches said, tears streaming down his cheeks. Ironically, the Nutt brothers were wearing the same kind of hat.
Ches opined that Arnold Palmer Hospital where Wal was thought to have died kept Wal in "some sort of zombie-like suspended animation," until it sold him to Ormandy's for cash. A spokesperson for the department store confirmed that Wal was purchased from Arnold Palmer Hospital two years ago for $35, along with 16 other mannequins. Ches speculated that all 16 mannequins are also former patients who, like Wal, were the victims of "some sort of health care shenanigans and what have you."
Legendary golfer and the hospital's namesake Arnold Palmer was indigant when he was advised of Ches' allegations. "Who the [expletive deleted] does this [expletive deleted] Ches Nutt think he is, damn him to worse than hell!" fumed Palmer. "I'm going to sue his [expletive deleted] ass."
Ches purchased Wal from Ormandy's and transported him back to their childhoold home. "I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with him," he said. "I've had him here a week and frankly, I'm bored to tears just looking at him holding that damn football. I'm beginning to understand why the hospital wanted to get rid of him."
