WASHINGTON - The ghost reportedly seen by several witnesses floating through the halls of the first floor of the White House last night has been positively identified as the spirit of Caspar Weinberger, Secretary of Defense in the Reagan administration and Secretary of HEW in the Nixon administration, who died yesterday at the age of 88 of complications from pneumonia. One of the eyewitnesses, new White House Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten, said that Weinberger's spirit was "quite personable; in fact, he was downright friendly." Bolten explained that the ghost "approached me and asked me if I would be his friend." Bolten said he is ashamed to admit that the spirit's appearance so startled him that he took one horrified look at it and ran off in the opposite direction, screaming with both arms raised in the air, "exactly like someone you would see in a cartoon." Bolten added that his eyeballs literally popped out of their sockets "by a good 5 inches, again exactly as you'd see in a cartoon." Bolten said that his actions caused the ghost to "appear to be be dejected."
A reporter asked President Bush about his reaction to the specter's appearance in the White House. Bush said: "Arlen is welcome here anytime. We don't discriminate against Jews."
Not everyone is happy about the sighting. Following reports that the ghost asked Bolten to "be his friend," Alfred Harvey, Jr., Publisher of Harvey Comics, issued a statement threatening to sue Weinberger's estate for trademark infringement of his company's "Casper the Friendly Ghost" character.
