May: OAKLAND RAIDERS SELECT AL ZARQAWI WITH SEVENTH PICK OF NFL DRAFT

OAKLAND - Al Davis, controversial owner of the Oakland Raiders, has once again created a firestorm around the league by selecting Jordanian terrorist Abu al Zarqawi with the seventh pick of the National Football League Draft. “This guy puts the criminal in 'criminal element,' said a smiling Davis.

Zarqawi is the second international terrorist to be drafted by the Raiders, and the first since Carlos the Jackal played free safety for Oakland during the mid-seventies. “He is capable of delivering a lot of punishment, and he’s got an elusiveness that makes him hard to bring down in the open field,” said Davis. “He’s got all the weapons necessary to make an immediate impact. I’m just grateful he’s on our team.”

Zarqawi, who did not make himself available to NFL Scouts at the Indianapolis Combine, a showcase for individuals with aspirations to play professional football, released a videotape broadcast on the Aljazeera Network this morning saying he was “delighted to be a part of the Silver and Black” and vowing to do “everything in his power, praise God, to destroy all teams that stand in the way” of a Raider championship. Zarqawi, who has retained the services of super-agent Drew Rosenhaus, said he was looking forward to attending Raider mini-camp at the end of the month, and that he expected to be fully recovered from the leg wound he sustained during a rocket attack launched by U.S. led coalition forces in Iraq in time for the opening of training camp in July.