McCLATCHY: "WE'VE FALLEN ON HARD TIMES!"
PITTSBURGH - Pirate fans around the nation are shocked and many are in tears this morning upon hearing the startling news reported by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette that Pirates CEO Kevin McClatchy said the team has "fallen on hard times." "This is earth-shaking," said Velveeta Lugosi, a waitress at the Tower Diner in the Gulf Tower and long-time Pirates fan. "Other than the World Trade Center attack, this is about the most shocking thing I've ever heard. I don't see how I'm going to be able to work today."
Seventeen-year old Ryan Mansfield has no memory of the last Pirates' winning season since he was just three-years old at the time, but he brushed away tears when he heard the news. "I knew that the Bucs have a ways to go to be a contender, but this . . ." Ryan put his head down and gently sobbed.
McClatchy told this news source that he knows his statement comes as a shock to Pirates fans, but he had been secretly preparing it for two weeks. "I was hoping not to have to go through with it, but ultimately felt we had no choice." McClatchy said he is relieved that he made the statement. "Now everybody knows what I've been suspecting for the past two weeks."
