TRACY DEMANDS RETURN OF STRAWBERRIES, PLAYERS THREATEN MUTINY

PITTSBURGH - Embattled Pirates skipper Jim Tracy lashed out at his players yesterday, saying he “has tried to run this ship properly by the book,” but “the men have fought me at every turn.”

Speaking to reporters after the team completed an afternoon workout, Tracy cited the theft of strawberries from his office refrigerator as an example of the slipshod discipline and substandard behavior that has contributed to the poor performance of his team. “They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with geometric logic that a duplicate key to my refrigerator did exist.”

Tracy added that he viewed Craig Wilson as the prime suspect in the strawberry robbery, and vowed not to play him on a regular basis until his fruit was returned. Tracy said he attempted to conduct a strip search of Wilson to confirm his suspicions, but Donald Fehr and the Major League Players Union stopped him. “Therefore, I am forced to punish the innocent with the guilty,” he said. “No liberty for three months!”

Wilson was indignant when informed of Tracy’s remarks. “That’s the final straw,” he said. One clubhouse insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, said a group of Pirate players were considering invoking Article 184 of the Major League Baseball Maritime Code of Regulations, which permits subordinates with more than three years of Major League service to relieve a manager of his duties under extraordinary circumstances. “Something has to change,” said Salomon Torres. “He’s running this ship into the ground.”